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Sunday, July 8th, 2001
7:23 am - i was happy
Okay I haven't written in this thing for awhile, because it's become a war zone. I am so upset with all this crap. People telling me I've changed and getting mad at me for standing up for a friend. I would do this for any of my friends not just Shana. I am so fucking hurt. Thanx Tegan. I don't even think I'm gonna write in this thing anymore, maybe I do need to move, start over. Maybe there people will accept me for who I am and people will stop telling me who to be friends with. Anyway, I've been playing Caesar and no one's gotten plague and not too many fires. So anyway, I'm kinda disgusted with this livejournal stuff so I'm done. Later.

current mood: disappointed

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Sunday, July 1st, 2001
9:54 pm - since when?
I don't care all too much but since when is there an e on the end of Blair? I hope that I don't really offend anyone with all this stuff I've been saying. If I am, I'm sorry it's just how I feel. O yea, and I LOVE GREEN DAY!!!!! LOL!!!!

current mood: cheerful

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5:31 am - No birthday for Blair
Okay people, I don't mind that you have an opinion, actually I like it, but could you not insult people in my journal. I've realized that whoever this is has a problem with Shana and really doesn't care what she says just wants to say shitty stuff. I don't care but could you just not on my page. I try not to be mean (even though still am) but when it's on my page it's kind of thrown in my face. I can't have a 16th b-day party because my friends all dislike each other and it's be like a war. So could you just give this stupid journal, if you hate Shana insult her on her page, but she's my close friend so don't do it on mine.
On to the actual entry now, yesterday I went to the mall and bought a rust-orange colored shirt and some other stuff. I called Shana but she wasn't home or not answering the phone and my mom was yelling and telling me we had to go right then. I figured out you can't work anywhere in the mall until you're 16 so I can't work till august. Jennifer said I could work at baskin robbins until I was 16 and then quit and work at barkers. That'd be alright, anyone think of any better jobs tell me. I want to get a plether jacket because I am just too damn cheap to buy one, maybe I can talk my mom into buying me one. That'd be awesome. I sound like a 80's rocker, who says awesome anymore? Dumb Blairy. Well hey Blair is bored out of her skull so if you read this call me, I'm listed and the only one under my last name. I need something to do with the days. Well I hope I haven't pissed anyone off, but if I don't say anything people will have a field day. Hey Em, I'm sorry I didn't call you back, but my mom got on the phone and then my dad called, I'm gonna call you today. And HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MANDA, LUV YA! Bye All!

current mood: indifferent

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Friday, June 29th, 2001
12:55 am - yo dormi'o
Nothing happened today. I slept all day and when i woke up I realized there was nothing to do and went back to sleep. So later all

current mood: lethargic

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Thursday, June 28th, 2001
3:22 am - things coming together
Things are still a little screwy but the pices are beginning to fall into place. I needed endings to things, I feel so much better now that I have them. I'm feeling better. Today I planted some trees at school, ate some pizza, talked to some friends, and almost got eaten by Kim's dog. Thst's really it, c-ya later. Love Blairy

PS-But the best argument against Christianity is also Christianswhen they are self-righteous and smug, when they are narrow and repressive. Then Christianity dies a thousand deaths.
C. S. Lewis. It's not that religion itself is so screwed up, it's the people that add in their opinions. Deep down inside everone knows the difference between right and wrong, that's what religion is, a doctorine of right and wrong. All religions are similar in their make up, so why do we always fight and sin against our own beliefs fighting people of similar beliefs. The Irony Huh?

current mood: mellow

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Tuesday, June 26th, 2001
10:28 pm - fancy chicken dance
I just made the subject the first thing that I thought of, why that was it I don't know. Anyway today was snowball, very interesting. People seriously are strange. The people that have things to say don't and the people that are full of shit talk incessantly. Piss Off! Well, still going through the internal crap. I saw this show on tv, I don't remember the name. Well anyway, there was this cop and they were called out to a burglary and he accidentaly shot him and he died. That night he prayed for the day to happen over again. It did and he tried to prevent it, he called in sick and well the same burglary call came in and he didn't get shot but instead had a heart attack. So then as he was dying he told his partner that you can't change the past, but you can always change the future. I think everyone dwells on the past, that's why most people kill themseleves. They look at the past and then can't see the hope for tommorow. You always gotta look ahead, always try to change yourself, because you can't change what other people do. I hope I can keep this thought in the forefront of my mind. Anyway, talk to you soon.

current mood: contemplative

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Monday, June 25th, 2001
6:14 am - monday morning
hey all! I'm in much better spirits this morning. I went to Bradley's last night and it was all right. I didn't meet any prospective boyfriends but well I really don't need any. I don't do well in relationships as you might have guessed from my track record. It was cool chilling with Harmony and Jennifer and Harmony's cousins. They were pretty cool. I need to start exercising just because I want a body like that woman from How Stella Got Her Groove Back. Can't remember her name for the hell of me though. On top of that I am doing absolutely nothing even remotely productive. I'm thinking of getting my hair done too, but I'm not sure. I'm listening to Eminem, for some strange reason this CD brings my spirits up, why I still don't know. Well today I think I'm gonna call Shana because she's won't be grounded anymore, what she's grounded for I don't know but oh well she's not anymore. Talk to you people soon, CULAYTA!

current mood: bouncy

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Thursday, June 21st, 2001
6:13 pm - I have no life
I have dived head first into a rut. i am doing absolutely nothing. I sleep all day and watch TV all night. Everyone is out of town, working, or just not calling me. I went to Kim's, which was fun but, still came home and did the same thing. I hate this. I have to make myself get up and eat and take as shower and brush my teeth. I really need to at least talk to someone. I always get really down when I don't talk to anyone. I'm not even playing Caesar. I can't make myself get up and call people, and sometimes I can't even answer the phone. This is getting really depressing, so I'm just going to go back to bed.

current mood: depressed

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Wednesday, June 20th, 2001
1:27 am - nothingness
I feel like my life is at a standstill. These last few days everything was happening and now, nothing. It's really strange. Nothing resolved, nothing happening. These last two days I've been sitting on my ass, watching tv and eating mot. sticks. Which is all well and good, don't get me wrong, but still completely unproductive. I went to snowball thinking maybe some of it would give me some kind of direction. But since I had no problems that I felt like could be solved, I didn't say anything. The only thing that's happened to me is bowling an 86. Not great but alright. Nobody's even calling. I feel so alone. But strangely enough, not sad but just melancholy. Hopefully, I can go somewhere if someone actually calls me, or if not, maybe clean my room before the parents get all pissed off. O yea, I met this cool girl Sarah at snowball. She's pretty awesome and I hope that more interesting people start going. Anyway, I'm sick of typing so I'll write later.

current mood: blah

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Monday, June 18th, 2001
8:46 pm - sadness
Today I haven't done anything but things have happened anyway. The director of personnel called my mom and asked her to apply for this job in chicago where she would be the director of diversity in chicago. It's really creepy how right that psychic was. We'd leave about january because that's when the lease on the house in Chicago is done. I really don't want to go. But now that this has happened, it's made me worried about time. Something important to me is going on and I really don't have an answer about it and I wish that the person it involves would call me. I don't want to rush them though. Things seem crazy. All day I've just been thinking about everything and I guess getting into better terms with myself. I'm still pretty worried about everything though. Everybody's gone, Marie, Caitlyn, and the slowness of summer has officially set in. Suckiness. Well hopefully I can figure some stuff out now that i have some time. Hope to talk to everyone later. Love, Blairy

current mood: contemplative

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Sunday, June 17th, 2001
7:47 pm - strangeness
I'm feeling pretty weird right now. I had a pretty cool day though, overall. I went to jubilee with Tegan and we had mehindi done. I got the sign that is the hindu sign of love. It's supposed to create a feeling of emotional well-being, creativity, and imagination. I hope that it works. I also bought this gel candle for a friend. I had a tarot reading too. It told me that I was going to move, and she was really right about a lot of other things. I'm kinda of worried about that because my mom is looking for jobs in other places. It really would suck to move junior year, but it isn't my descion. She said she wants to go to Mississippi and I am so not going. I will live with my dad first. I would hate that. I'm kinda confused about a friend but I don't even want to talk about that. My mom says she'll start more heavily looking for a job here. Last week I was complaining about nothing going on, and now I wish I was back to the nothingness. Hopefully, if things go well, some good things will come of this. Maybe it will all be worth it. Well, I'm sleepy and am going to bed later peoples!

current mood: contemplative

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Friday, June 15th, 2001
11:09 pm - super tiredness
hey all, I love this livejournal stuff. It's really cool to find people that think simiarly. Anywayz, I pretty much slept all day, I woke up once at noon and watched jerry springer (why I don't know) and again at 4:30 and watched jeopardy. As you can see my interests have a wide span. I worked for the last few days with Mrs.McKinney helping her move. I worked for 3 days but the only day that really tired me out was the last day when I worked from 9 am to 6am this morning. I'm proud of myself because I didn't complain. I got paid and so it's all good. I think I'm going to buy CDs and some pants from hot topic. I'm gonna buy these CDs: Nikka Costa, Linkin Park, Joy Drop, Diana Krall (didn't know i liked jazz but I do), and possibly No Doubt. The pants are reversible and are kinda blue camoflauge (sp?) and the other side are just regular jeans. My mom's been being really mean and I don't know why she's making me get off just because she said so. She's being pretty cruel about it too. She does this all the time, it's like she hates me or something. Anyway I have to go bye.

current mood: disappointed

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Tuesday, June 12th, 2001
11:04 pm - Caesar 3
Things are extra super-complicated with that game. It drives me nuts! But it's still extra fun. I'm really sleepy right now because Tegan and I stayed up and did, well...nothing. Exiting, isn't it? I wanted to call my Shana, but she wasn't home when I got home. I cleaned all day but it wasn't too bad because Mrs.McKinney is cool. I missed the Snowball picnic though. I hate that weird summer feeling, you know, when you feel like you are changing and everyone else is not? I hate that, I always feel like I'm betraying my friends. I hope nothing bad comes of this. Keep you fingers crossed. Talk to you all soon (I hope!)

current mood: complacent

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2:04 am - first entry!
hello all, this is well if you read above my first journal entry. I have no idea what to talk about. hm...let's see...I'm at Tegan's house and she's chasing bonnie cat. It's really really funny. I was supposed to go out with Caitlin but I had no $ and I am supposed to go work with Mrs.McKinney and (hopefully) get ome money. This weekend I am going to Jubilee with Tegunda. Ton o fun! Hopefully, Tegan will let me borrow Caesar III and then I will never again leave my computer and I'll look like a black ghost. Lots of confusion in my life. Miscommunication. I feel really bad because I am hurting someone I care about but well, I need some stuff. I'm not even about to explain something that personal. Anywayz...Shana if you read this call me. And if you want to talk to me I'm listed. And if your lazy email me and ask me for my #. Talk to you all soon. CULAYTA!

current mood: optimistic

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